Wedding Weight Loss Tips

Planning a wedding takes an insane amount of effort.

It takes so much planning, prep, and stress that I’m actually shocked that people still have weddings.

There’s so much to worry about.

  • The Venue
  • Catering
  • Guests
  • The DJ
  • Photographer

That last one is the one that gives brides and some grooms the most anxiety because that is the one vendor whose influence will be felt long past the big day.

And this is why so many gyms offer boot camp and spin classes..

Losing Weight For The Big Day

There’s a lot of pressure to have the perfect wedding which makes losing weight for your big day even harder.

Along with all the other stuff you have to plan you’re now forcing yourself to lose an unfathomable amount of weight in an unreasonable amount of time.

This leads to a huge imbalance in your body.

On the one hand, you’re motivated like never before to shed excess pounds and get back down to your 11th-grade cheerleading weight.

On the other hand, you’re cramming a lot of To-Dos into a short amount of time.

Not to mention each To-Do has to be absolutely perfect. The venue has to be the right size with the right decor with the right lighting. The DJ has to play the right songs at the right times and make the right announcements without mispronouncing anyone’s names.

And oh ya, the cake has to be the illest cake known to man.

How do you even squeeze a workout into this melee?

Not to mention, if you’re trying to lose weight, do you even get to try the cake?

There’s no doubt that losing weight for your wedding can be a challenge amongst many bigger challenges.

Lucky for you I have some tips to help you slim down in a short amount of time without resorting to starvation.

Lose Weight Without Trying To Lose Weight

Remember how easy life used to be before you started trying to lose weight?

You look back on old pictures and get angry that you were once a completely different, more acceptable shape, and you didn’t even realize how lucky you were!

As you get older your metabolism changes, it slows down, yadda yadda you’ve heard it before.

One of the most effective ways to lose weight is to not try to lose weight. Do it effortlessly.

Wait, What?

The biggest problem with people’s obsession with weight loss is that they’re focusing on the wrong thing.

Weight isn’t the problem, it’s a symptom of even bigger problems in the body.

These problems are usually foundational and once addressed can bring down not just your weight, but improve sleep, help focus and concentration, improve mood, improve immunity, and generally just help you feel better.

Keep in mind that not every skinny person is healthy and happy. In fact, I’d be willing to bet that many skinny people are absolutely miserable and dealing with plenty of their own issues.

Just understanding this should help you to stop equating weight to health.

Losing Weight Is Easy

Anyone can lose weight at any time. Here’s how you do it? Stop eating.

That’s right, just don’t eat.

Fast, starve, they will both make your body burn all its fat reserves and you’ll get down to your goal weight in no time.

Realistically that’s not going to happen, nor would I ever tell someone to do something as crazy as not eating to lose weight.

So if not eating is not a good way to lose weight, why are we still telling people to count calories?

This is an archaic way of thinking that became popular sometime in the late 20th century and has never left.

You can also correlate this time to about the same time obesity rates began to climb.

Does this make sense?

It does once you understand not to focus on calories in, calories out as a means to losing weight.

Calories And Weight Loss

A calorie is a unit of energy.

You need calories for your body to function and ultimately to survive.

Amongst all the daily functions of your body includes the function of burning stored adipose tissue.

Adipose tissue is the thing separating you from that perfect sunset photo that will be your profile pic for the next 3 years.

Calorie restriction will not burn adipose tissue. In fact, calorie restriction can make it worse.

When you restrict calories what you’re really telling your body is that you’re in a crisis and you need to hold onto all the fat you have because you don’t know if more food is coming.

Your body is literally holding onto fat to power it’s most vital functions.

Especially if you’re eating starch and carbohydrates, your body is going to store that as fat for the coming day of reckoning.

Low Calorie, High Fail

As you stress your body out in a calorie deficit there are big problems brewing below the surface.

Stress induces the release of cortisol from your adrenal glands.
Cortisol is a storage hormone, and it’s going to utilize most of the nutrients (or lack thereof) coming into your body.

All the protein you eat because you heard someone say eat more protein gets used to make cortisol and not the other hormones you need to be at your best.

Excess cortisol will literally drive you crazy.. Not to mention everyone around you.

Enter Bridezilla

The most sure-fire way to trigger excess cortisol production is through sugar and carbohydrate consumption.

Unfortunately, most low-calorie diets are laden with high carbohydrates and low on fats.

Fats have twice the calories that carbs do and have been demonized for years as the reason people are fat.

It’s safe to assume the keto and carnivore diets have disproven this theory with all the annoying Instagram before and after pics.

However, I’m not advocating for either of these diets.

Low-calorie diets also keep you constantly hungry.

Then when you do eat, it’s something high in carbohydrates, which burn fast and leave you feeling hungry soon after eating.

You ever crush a pint of Ben and Jerry’s 30 minutes before bed after a day of green juice and lean cuisines?

You can thank sugar, insulin, low calories and cortisol.

Lose Weight For Your Wedding And Beyond

The first thing you want to do to lose weight for your wedding is to not procrastinate.

Don’t wait for a month before your wedding to decide to get your butt in gear.

Do it just after the proposal. I’m talking knee in the dirt, ring box open, ring on finger, burpees.

In all reality you don’t want to rush your weight loss because that’s not healthy at all, you’ll be miserable and it just won’t work.

For those of you who are down to put in the work here are some tips:

Trash All Processed Food

Anything in a box that has an expiration date past a week from now needs to go.

The chemicals, the sugar, and the sodium are holding you back from ever reaching any fitness goals.

Get A Few Colonics Or Enemas

You need excess weight to get out of you any way you can.

You can sweat it out through exercise or heat exposure.

You can also do your body wonders by opening up your digestive elimination pathway (ie your pooper) so that the food you do eat can be broken down and eliminated from your body.

This will also help get rid of toxins that are stored in the fat and mess with your metabolism.

Genetic Testing

Here’s where you start to ignore every Instagram Post that shows a sexy, hot, body person telling you that the only way to lose weight is with the _______ diet.

Your body is individual and works in a very specific way.

You need to know how your body reacts to certain foods and exercises.

While some people do great with saturated fat, some people are not built well for saturated fat.

Some people thrive with high-intensity interval training, and some people are optimized for longer sets, lower weight.

Don’t buy the BS that whatever your friend did will work for you. Get a 23 and Me and know for sure.

You’ll also find out cool things like how your body does or doesn’t methylate, what vitamins and minerals are best for you and if you’re more susceptible to bug bites.

Remember bug bites add weight too.

Add More Fat

As you transition to a more whole-food diet you’ll notice your body start to work better.

You’ll be taking in a lot of nutrition, but that nutrition doesn’t work the same across the board.

There are 4 vitamins that actually need fat to be fully metabolized in the body.

These vitamins are A, D, E, K.

These vitamins do amazing things in your body like boost your immune system, improve liver function, improve adrenal and pancreatic function, build bones and muscle, and that barely scratches the surface.

Many people are low in these vitamins because they’ve followed a low-fat diet for so long.

The other thing you get from fat is more satiation. The worst part about dieting is that constant feeling of being hungry.

Fat is twice as calorically dense as carbs and protein.

Add to the fact that you will get more vitamin absorption, mineral assistance, and better digestion and fat will help to keep you fuller longer.

Workout 4x Per Week

This is your wedding.

The photos will last forever.

Use the 23 and Me data to figure out what your best workouts are.

If it’s High-Intensity Interval Training, join a CrossFit gym and watch your body transform in a matter of weeks.

If you’re the higher endurance type than get on a treadmill and run.

Either way, working out is a given in any weight loss program.

The photos will last forever.

Drink More Water

Water is the most deficient nutrient in the western diet.

Your body is 70% water.

It keeps your joints and muscles lubricated, it keeps your blood and lymph flowing, and it keeps your lips from turning white and chalky.

The photos last forever.

Not to mention water is absolutely essential in every metabolic process your body performs.

It also helps to flush out toxins.

If you’re not drinking water, your body isn’t working. That’s really the long and short of it.

Optimal water intake varies from person to person, but a good rule of thumb is to divide your body weight by 2 and drink that amount in ounces of water every day.

Quit All Sugary Drinks

The easiest way to lose weight is to never drink another Coke, Monster, Macchiato, or Naked juice again.

These drinks are loaded with sugar.

You have to really pay attention to labels and look at both sugar content AND serving size.

A drink could have only 8 grams of sugar but in a 4 oz serving with multiple servings in a single can or bottle. This is where the grams of sugar start to add up without even noticing.

Sugar is in everything and it will be your biggest hurdle to overcome. It’s more addictive than drugs.

Be sure to nip it anywhere you can.

This also includes alcohol.

Alcohol is made from sugar, including beer, which is made from grains which your body recognizes as sugar.

If you’re dedicated and find yourself out and you need a drink, club soda with lime is a good choice.

However, the phosphoric acid in club soda can mess with your body’s autonomic nervous system and keep you from losing weight. So you don’t want to drink too much bubbly water. A few here and there is ok.

Be A Hot Spouse

Following these tips will give you a good jump start to your wedding weight loss goals.

More importantly, they will serve you even after the wedding.

After the DJ plays Donna Summer’s “Last Dance” and everyone says their goodbyes isn’t the time to forget all the hard work you put in to make the day incredible.

In fact, these tips will serve you for years to come.

They’re easy and sustainable, which is good because marriage is hard and the last thing you want to do is try to stay married while starving yourself.

That’s a sure-fire way becoming “that couple”.

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